For the past 19 years Riley has had a constant
companion in a floppy, once-stuffed dog named “puppy”. A gift from his Auntie
Trudy for R’s first Christmas which became “THAT Special Toy”.
In the early years puppy went pretty much everywhere
with Riley.
On special occasions puppy even got to snack with Riley.
Camping
and other family vacations would not be complete without puppy.
As Riley got older and went off to school puppy got
used to staying at home. Riley would place him gently on the stairs, snuggle
his face into his body and breathe in puppy’s scent before heading out the
door.
After 10+ years of hard loving, puppy started to
break down. It was the Christmas of 2006. I was now a seasoned autism mom. I knew exactly what made Riley tick. Yup yup
yup. I knew. All I had to do was replace
“THAT Special Toy”.
Look how excited Riley is!!!
For the next 7 years (less 1 day) puppy took up
residence (for the most part) on Riley’s shoulder.
At the beginning of November 2013, I discovered
what turned out to be stuffing in Riley’s bedroom. After some investigation I
realized Riley had tried to ‘destuff’ the replacement puppy. A
surgeon Riley will never be. Did Riley sense the demise of puppy???
Puppy’s tattered and dilapidated body had become a tangled
mess. Riley would shake, twist and untwist its threadbare body to no avail. Then
on Christmas Eve day of this year (2013), G discovered the remnants of puppy in
our bathroom garbage. *GASP*
I am almost certain Riley tried to detangle puppy
with his trusty scissors.
A little snip here led to another snip there……
The next morning......
It was as if Riley was trying to piece puppy together. :(
R: You can
fix it???
Me: Ummm. No. I’m
sorry. I can’t fix puppy.
R: *Picking at the pieces* You can’t fix puppy. (in his sad voice)
Me: No. I
can’t. It’s too wrecked.
R: It’s
too wrecked. I wrecked it.
Me. Yes. You
cut puppy into too many pieces. I’m sorry Riley.
As the day passed, Riley would pass by the pieces,
pick them up, smell them and sadly walk away. Why did I not just throw them
away??? Well as you know I am a seasoned
autism mom and one of the top 10 rules of autism is never, EVER throw anything
away unless you have stored it for at least 10 years. EVER!!!
We finally decided that Riley would give the
replacement puppy a try. I would put my grade 8 sewing skills to the test and
try and patch up new puppy.
VOILA!!!
Part of me thought perhaps this would have been a good time to
naturally transition away from puppy. Yet another part of me had a hard time
letting go. Puppy had brought so much comfort and security to Riley. Whether it
was in his backpack under the seat in front of him on a plane or in a hotel
room waiting for him to return from a day's outing; puppy was the one constant
that gave Riley a sense of calm and order. Had we not had new puppy waiting in the wings, the choice would have been simpler.
Not easier. Simpler. We would have no choice but to move on.
Was I doing the right thing?? Maybe at 19 Riley
should not have a “puppy” or “blankie”. Any doubts I had were put to rest when
we were at my sister’s for Christmas dinner this year. There on the arm of the couch was
a well worn part of a quilt. It was my niece’s. It was her “blankie”. She is
20. J2 still has his “blankie” on his bed. He will be 21 in less than 2 weeks. For
now Riley seems to have taken to new puppy…only time will tell.
Did you or does your child(ren) have something they
are/were attached to?? How did you/they let go?
