The Perils of Perseveration

Perseveration is Riley World’s middle name. So “What’s the deal with perseveration?” Well…click on the red words (if you’re reading from my blog) or the blue words (if you’re reading in an email) for a great reader-friendly explanation from my friend Bec.  I’ll wait. *whistling*

Yesterday Riley came downstairs quite distressed about his underwear. His white and grey underwear to be exact. Apparently the night before while getting dressed after his shower, he noticed a teeny-weeny hole just under the waistband. “It’s broken!”  But…he put them on anyways. Shocking. I. Know.

This is what happened to that teeny-weeny hole by morning…

Yup…less than half the underwear was attached to the elastic waistband. He had put what was left of this pair in his laundry basket.

Now typically when R ummmm “rips” his clothes it is due to stress/anxiety. Only took me about 3 years and 87 shirts to figure THIS one out.  If you follow us on Facebook, this will not come as a surprise. Photo proof…

What he looked like when we picked him up one day.

Yes...he was wearing the shirt at the time. 

No...he was not wearing these shirts at the time.

Other times it is because he can’t leave something (a loose thread, a teeny-weeny hole or any one of 1,067 reasons) alone. It bothers him to a point of no return. In this case…the teeny-weeny hole in his underwear. OR…just maybe…he wanted thong underwear instead of his usual boxer briefs. Yea…I’m not buying that either.   

Needless to say R was stressed out about getting some new white underwear. Today. He would have preferred right then and there but we agreed that I would try and find some while he was at his program.

So now the detective work began. Where did I originally buy those particular white and grey underwear??  Because…of course…being a seasoned autism mom…I had cut out ALL identifying labels. I really need to stop being so efficient. ;)  Lucky for me…no-name or generic brands usually mean either Wal-Mart or Superstore.

I managed to find some similar white underwear at Superstore. Not exactly the same but all that they had. As soon as I got home Riley came running down and looked in the bags. I held my breath and showed him the underwear. He eyed them up. I continued to hold my breath. He looked at me. I started to get dizzy. He looked back at the underwear and that’s when I blurted out “These underwear look different but they are just bigger than your other ones and we need to wash them and then they’ll be the same.”  R looked at me and said “Where’s the grey ones?” I don't remember what happened after that.  

How We Handle "Undesirable" Activities in Riley World

When it comes to Riley World…it is all about “incentives”. Motivators so to speak.  Some may refer to these as “bribes” but that…to me…sounds so negative. ;)  So let’s just go with incentives shall we??

Whenever an undesirable activity is in the foreseeable future, my mind immediately starts to play out all possible scenarios in which things could go sideways and then…how to try to minimize the fallout.    

One of the activities of Riley’s new program is grocery shopping and then cooking lunch.

I received an email about what was planned for the following day:

And for cooking we are making hot dogs and french fries, so everyone can either pack a lunch and take what they made home, or eat it for lunch! 

This was good. This could work. Hot dogs are one of the few foods R will eat. Sort of. Okay. Wieners. He will eat wieners. Close enough. I responded with:

Awesome...hot dogs and fries! I think I will only send a drink with R and prep him for eating hot dogs for lunch.  He will probably not eat any of the fries but...go for it!!  :D  Peer pressure can sometimes work.  Probably not but you never know.  :)  Also...R usually only eats the wieners (boiled) BUT we have, in the past, worked on eating an actual hot dog (with bun...plain only...bun and wiener) so also feel free to just put one on his plate. 

You could always give him a choice:  One hotdog with bun or 2 wieners.  Totally up to you though. 

May the force be with you.  Good luck!

Diane

After prepping Riley…I sent this email in the morning:

The incentive is in place.  :)   He's prepped to eat 2 hot dogs (with bun) and to try at least one French fry. Maybe two.  We can only hope.  I mentioned the bun but I will leave that up to you.  He will probably say 2 hot dogs (the incentive) but if you think he's really struggling with the bun...after he finishes one w/bun...you can suggest he just eat the 2nd wiener.  He will be most pleased with that suggestion.  :D  Be prepared for piles of ripped bun on his plate.  Hahaha!  I told him G would check to see if he did "a good job" in order to go get his incentive on the way home.    

So what is R’s “incentive”???  5 cases of pop. Yup. You read that right. 5 cases (12 cans/case) of pop. Orange Crush, Fanta Orange, C-Plus, Sprite and 7-Up. The number of cases will vary based on how undesirable the activity may be.

I know what you’re thinking. Why bother with all this…“Won’t he just eat when he’s hu…”  STOP! Just…stop right there!! No. No he will not. It doesn’t work that way in Riley World. We started working on trying to expand his diet (aka Operation IFO) a couple of years ago. Although we did manage to add a few more things to his menu…it is still pretty limited. *sigh*

As soon as he got home he immediately unloaded ALL 5 cases (this is not our kitchen fridge). The line-up on the top shelf???  I think he is imitating pop "displays" at the eateries in food courts. Or not. Your guess is as good as mine here. He has one shelf and the rest...

well...they are relegated to wherever he can find space beside the fridge.  

As you can see...orange is his flavour of choice.  Praying we won't need an incentive in the near future.