Stasha
has once again picked a real doozy of a topic for this week’s Monday Listicles.
“10 Sounds that Drive You Bonkers”. I
had to control the urge to turn this into a husband-bashing rant a
really hard time coming up with things that bothered me. The benefits of being
at peace with myself I guess. ;P
London 2012 started this past Friday. So
in the spirit of the Olympic Games, I promise to take part in these Monday
Listicles, respecting and abiding Stasha’s rules, with wine and laughter, in
the true spirit of blogging, for the glory of writing and the honour of our
readers.
1.
It
starts out very slowly and of course in the middle of the night. Gradually it
increases. Sporadic blips during the day until finally I am standing under “it”…
staring… wondering… waiting… willing “it” to make THAT noise. You know…THAT NOISE…the one that “it”
makes when the battery is running low.
2.
Cracking
knuckles or in J2’s case – his back!
Gross I know…STOP ALREADY!!!
3.
The
random, high-pitched, buzzing/tweeting/chirping sound which I eventually locate
coming from the bowels of our teenage son’s “man cave” but am too afraid to enter lest I pass out from the fumes of teenage manhood.
4.
Normally
I am grateful for the automated reminder that I am doing laundry. However the intermittent buzzing is most
annoying if I happen to be nodding off ...ahem...resting my eyes.
5.
I
am not a good sleeper. I have trouble going to sleep, staying asleep and waking
up from sleep. Mosquitoes buzzing around my head when I on the brink of
dreamland brings out my inner ninja. Covers are off, lights are on and I am
bouncing on the bed ready to annihilate the blood-sucking, disease-transmitting
gnats with my ummm slipper cuz you know… I am absolutely terrified of
bugs.
6.
Air
Horns. I may be mistaken but I believe air horns were initially designed for
semi-trailer trucks or as a signalling device for boats. You...yes YOU at the sporting event with
the team jersey, face painted and three sheets to the wind…I am too old to
learn how to read lips thank you very much.
7.
Dear
fellow slot machine players. Slapping the buttons or hitting them in a certain
sequence at lightning speed will NOT make the machine pay out so please, PLEEEZZE
stop!
8.
Once
we hit our 20th Anniversary let’s just say there were certain sounds that I no longer considered cute, funny, or endearing but rather irritating, boring
and downright annoying. For example…breathing. I will even admit there has
probably been the odd time that G has thought the same thing. Naaaaahhhhh.
9.
One
word…kazoos.
10.
Last
but certainly not least...I used to love hearing those four little words “I
love you mommy” from the boys when they were little. Now I cringe and want to
run off screaming in the opposite direction at the four words that come out of
J2’s mouth these days… “What’s for dinner tonight?” AUGH!!!!!
See…BONKERS!
See…BONKERS!
I had smoke alarms on my list too. Their constant chirping is like Chinese water torture.
ReplyDeleteEspecially the weeks before you realize what "it" is! HA!
DeleteOh gosh please let me never hate my husband's breathing. Although sometimes his talking drives me nuts.
ReplyDeleteThe breathing part only comes after over 20 years of listening to him talk. ;P
DeleteOh the smoke alarm - why oh why does the battery always go low IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?!
ReplyDeleteExactly! And of course there's never a replacement battery in the house so you rip out the dying one and then lay awake the rest of the night hoping your house is not going to spontaneously burst into flames. Right???
DeleteI thought I was the only one who hated 7. Oh, a fellow slap hater!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's all I can do to yell "STOP IT!!!" especially if I was there first. Ha!
DeleteThe kazoo. An evil invention if ever I saw one. I hate the buzzing from the alarm clock too - it actually made my list. And air horns? Please - no one needs that in their ear at a sporting event. Great list!
ReplyDeleteWhoever thought to package kazoos for party favours to sell at the Dollar stores must not have children and is probably evilly laughing in his comfortable gazillion dollar home. Oish.
DeleteI split up with a man of my dreams once for cracking his knuckles and back. He had the cutest behind but...
ReplyDeleteGreat list, nailed it girl!
It's a good thing J2 is blood otherwise he'd be history too! :D
DeleteWord on the smoke alarms. And OMG my husband's breathing. By which I mean snoring. By which I mean "I love you but I have no problem elbowing you 18 times a night, you jackass."
ReplyDeleteObviously you haven't been married for over 20 years yet cause I was referring to actually breathing! Baaaahaaaa!
DeleteAhahahahaha!! Hating the sound of your spouse breathing is awesomesauce.
ReplyDeleteYou just wait my friend. ;P
DeleteEvery time i visit my in laws i get to listen to a dying smoke detector. they never hear it, ever. i change the battery and the next time i come it is chirping again. it's a sick joke i tell ya!
ReplyDeletepopping over from Monday Listicle, it's my first week playing, not sure if people visit each other but i thought i would try to visit a few blogs.
Does it ever stop chirping I wonder?????
DeleteHave fun playing! I always enjoy the topics and reading other's lists. :D
Thanks for reading and leaving a comment!
I had a few of these too but not kazoos, that's a great one!
ReplyDeleteIf you like to be reminded of that kind of thing. HA!
DeleteThank you Stacie for putting a name to the whomp, whomping sound when the window is open - "Car Window Wind Buffeting"...AUGH!!!
Diane
It happened to me just last night. I hate the beeps of the fire alarm running out of battery. It always seems to start about 2:00 AM. Brutal.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for you. Why...WHY must it always start in the middle of the night!!! :(
DeleteThe dryer buzzer made my list. Especially when I'm trying to nap!
ReplyDeleteHere's my list:
http://collettaskitchensink.blogspot.com/2012/07/listicle-so-annoying-73012.html
Colletta
EXACTLY! Although I will never admit to napping. :)
DeleteGreat list! Funny on all points. It is just great how teenage boys can enliven a room with their sounds AND smells. Ellen
ReplyDeleteAnd then try to cover it all up with a combination of Febreeze and AXE (well at least at my house). Oi-vay!
DeleteThe smoke detector would be my number one from your list. That incessant chirping that sends the dog into hiding while you drag the chair around the house trying to figure out exactly which detector the noising is coming from. What usually happens is that I climb up on the chair, replace the batter, climb down and then hear it! THE CHIRP. I rarely pick the correct detector the first time. UGH!
ReplyDeleteHaaahaaaa....that happens at our house too! I'm not tall enough to reach one of them and heaven forbid I get out the step ladder or anything. Of course I forget to tell G during daylight hours and so it goes...Oi-vay.
DeleteYes! Yes! I support the snoring AND the breathing! Wow, you're right. This topic could turn into a bashing list pretty quickly, couldn't it?
ReplyDeleteStepping away. Lol!!
Our older son cracks his knuckles. Then he'll pop his shoulder in and out of its socket to creep me out. Cringe!!!
Yes it could turn into a bit of a "rant". Tee hee.
DeleteDouble jointed thumbs drive me crazy. Popping his shoulder in and out...YOUZA! *Shivering!
Haha...so true. I think we could probably each come up with a list of 10 sounds our spouses make that are annoying. But that would be mean.
ReplyDeleteIt would??? ;P They can be so touchy can't they. Baaahaaahaa!
Deletehehehe i can't believe i didn't think of #1!
ReplyDeleteIt's that thing that doesn't happen often but as you can tell...has traumatized me for life!
DeleteYou picked some good ones. I didn't follow this prompt cuz I forgot about things like smoke detectors!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jennifer. I liked your interpretation and found myself nodding along. ;P
DeleteI hate knuckles cracking...and dh does it ALL. THE. TIME. Back too! I get the heebie jeebies and want to reach for my kid's sound-muffling headphones.
ReplyDeleteGreat list!
Would you believe I used to "want" to be able to crack my knuckles like all the other kids! Ya...go figure. *smh*
DeleteLaughing my butt off at the Kazoo's. Completely agreeing with you on the What's For Dinner nonsense. Great list in it's entirety!
ReplyDeleteKazoo's never used to bother me until the kids starting coming home with them in their party loot bags. Why would a person do that after you give them a nice present?!? Tee hee.
DeleteHa, this made me laugh. I'm with you on the mosquitos, laundry buzzer, and knuckle-cracking. They've banned air horns at Canucks games and if they will confiscate them (and sometimes even kick the person wielding one out) if they find one. One small step in the right direction, at least!
ReplyDeleteThank goodness for that! Only thing worse would be those vuvuzelas. AUGH!!!
DeleteHow did you know that I had to venture into the 12 yr old's tween-cave to turn off the alarm clock this week? I nearly died from the fumes. The dog wouldn't even go in there with me. Haha!
ReplyDeleteI sympathize. Tween caves are even worse than teen caves! Trust me. Must stop now...starting to gag. ;P
DeleteLmao on the sound coming from teenage son's room! I don't even want the door to open to tell him to TURN IT DOWN or SHUT the fricking thing off for fear the teenage boy smell may seep out and permeate the rest of the basement!! Oh, yeah, my son isn't even a teen anymore and his room still reeks! My hubby doesn't stink up a room like that....although I can't say he is not guilty of causing a few eye watering aromas which of course need no further explanation. How old will my boy have to get before we can fumigate his room and it will be safe to leave the door open the few minutes a day he actually leaves it? Of. Ourselves all this has nothing really to do anymore with sounds that make you crazy.....d'oh!
ReplyDeleteSounds...smells...all related. I feel much better knowing that I am not alone on this one. Thank you. :)
DeleteI'm glad I'm not the only one bothered by cracked knuckles.
ReplyDeleteI just don't understand WHY!!! It's just not natural. *smh*
DeleteBahaha great list! And why is it that smoke detector batteries only die in the middle of the night? And I am beginning to hate hearing whats for dinner!
ReplyDeleteIt's not so much the cooking because I actually like to cook. It's figuring out WHAT to make that I dread. UGH!
DeleteGreat list! You've got me laughing out loud. I remember the smell of the teenage manhood from my brother's room when I was growing up. I have two sons and am NOT looking forward to experiencing it again!
ReplyDeleteThanks Laura! I don't have any brothers so when J1 (my stepson) went through it before we had the boys...I was horrified!!! I can't say it got any easier either. Eeep!
Delete#7 cracked me up!
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm...something else in common?!?!? ;P
DeleteLove the list! I already hate the words "what's for dinner mom" because apparently I rarely have the answer my girls want to hear!
ReplyDeleteYou should give it a try sometime Christina. Lots of fun topics that you can put your own spin on. You'd be great at it!!!
DeleteYah...I can relate. It gets better. Now when I ask if J2's going to be home for dinner I get "What are you making?" Really!!!