Zumba & Me

Yesterday afternoon I went to another Zumba class with a girlfriend. OK. So it was only my second class in about ummm 3 years. In case you are not aware of all the hype around Zumba you can watch this YouTube video:

  

Yup. This video is what Zumba is all about…or at least that is what “THEY” want you to believe. Did you watch at least the first 30 seconds?  Buff bodacious bodies…on the beach…in a disco (or wherever people Zumba). 

I call  BULL SH*T!!!

Of course I will elaborate.

It all started the other day on Facebook with this picture on a friend’s wall. Of course I had to make some snarky comment and the next thing you know I was going.

We got to the gym and were waiting for the class to start. You know that feeling like you have met someone before? Well guess what? The instructor…her son and Riley went to Gymboree together. I know! Over 15 years later and our paths cross at a Zumba class of all places. 15 years later and she is still looking svelte, in amazing shape, perky as all heck and I…well…am…well…not…any. of. those. things. What the hell was I thinking introducing myself!?!? 

Now I like to think of myself as somewhat coordinated. After all I took tap dancing and baton as a kid, played musical instruments in elementary school, and even played sports in high school. So makes sense right???

Well according to G…not so much. Back when we were still all googly-eyed over each other (yes we actually once were) and practicing our “first dance” for our wedding, I remember the words “two left feet” and “dragging around a sack of potatoes” coming out of my soon-to-be husband’s mouth. What the hell was I thinking?!?!?  Baaahaaahaaa.

So in we went. The room had mirrors plastered all over one ENTIRE wall! We were facing THAT wall. THAT wall was NOT my friend. AT ALL! Those mirrors?  I am positive they bought them from going out of business Fun Houses because there is no way my leg was only going a (as in one) foot off the ground. It was at least up to my shoulders if not the top of my head!!!

Then came the combination salsa/samba/Bollywood and belly dance moves. Let me just say the “magnificent middle” body that I have acquired and Zumba will never be friends. This body is not made for gyrating hips, Gangnam-style galloping or graceful chasseing back and forth. I consider myself extremely lucky I did not trip over my two left feet or knock myself out with my flailing arms.

My fingers are starting to seize up and before I end up having to crawl to bed I will stop here. Believe it or not I will be going back. That is why they make you pay in advance.  Haha! 

Oh and just so you know...this is a more realistic picture of the Zumba class I went to.