Riley's Social Success Puzzle (Part 2): Friend 2 Friend Social Learning Society

With Riley’s communication challenges much of his IEP (Individual Education Plan) goals have always been focused around social and self-help skills as opposed to academic goals. We have never wanted to set limits to what Riley might be able to accomplish yet we also had to be realistic in our expectations for the future as hard as that sometimes was. First and foremost we wanted to ensure R had a happy, positive and successful school experience. 

Another piece of what I like to call “Riley’s Social Success Puzzle” was Friend 2 Friend Social Learning Society’s Autism Demystification programs.  The Friend 2 Friend programs offers "a first step" towards fostering friendships for children on the autism spectrum (McCracken).  Friend 2 Friend Social Learning Society is a local not-for-profit organization that was established in 2002. Heather McCracken, the creator of the F2F model and programs, just happened to be a parent at the boys’ school.  Her son Iain and J2 are the same age and were classmates.

Shortly after Friend 2 Friend (F2F) presented their first puppet presentation to Riley’s grade, I went out with the F2F team to observe one of their presentations.  That was it. I was hooked. I am almost certain I would not have believed the impact of the puppet presentation or simulation game had I not seen it for myself. The way the children were engaged throughout both presentations and picked up on ALL the key learning points amazed me. I volunteered my time on the spot and started a new “career” as a puppeteer/presenter.  :D  Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that however it turned out to be one of the most rewarding jobs I’ve had to date.

Riley's class participating in the F2F Simulation Game

F2F presentations not only to Riley’s class but to the entire school were scheduled in the following years.  The F2F puppet presentation “That’s What’s Different About Me” for the primary grades and the F2F Simulation Game “Demystifying Autism” for the intermediate grades.  These programs were a great compliment/ balance to the “How to Be a Great Friend” program (which was geared specifically to Riley).  The F2F programs provided the students with information about autism (in general) in a fun, age-appropriate, interactive and sensitive manner while introducing their key concept that “everybody is different in his or her own way and being a good friend means accepting differences.”  


The F2F Simulation Game presentation (pictured) helps participants understand "what it feels like" to have autism.  Visit the Friend 2 Friend Social Learning Society website for more information about all their programs and services.

Yes there are still the times that I beat myself up about whether or not we have done all that we could have.  There are always the “what if’s”.  But when I look at Riley today, he is a happy go-lucky teenager (which is more than I can say for some *wink*) and even though there is still a lot of work ahead of us, isn’t their happiness what we all really want for our kids?

Part 3 will be focussed on the positive benefits of both programs and some of the extra curricular activities that were organized for Riley. I welcome any comments/questions you might have.  

Only One More Year of High School

Tomorrow is the deadline to submit Riley’s course selection for next year.  It will be R’s last year of high school...Grade 12...Graduation.  YIKES!!!  Yes…I am FREAKING out as I’m writing this! 

In the past I have never looked much beyond the current school year or at best a couple of years down the road.  When R was in elementary school, he/things could change so quickly it was hard to plan too far ahead.  There were times when he would grow in leaps and bounds, times when he would be on a steady course and other times when it seemed as if he was going backwards.  Our mantra was always and still is “one day at a time”. 

Next year Riley will graduate with a School Completion Certificate as opposed to a Certificate of Graduation as he has been on a modified program since elementary school.  R’s skill set has been such that his IEP (Individual Education Plan) goals have always been geared towards his social skills and self-help skills in order to work towards his own independence as opposed to academic goals. 

The high school courses available that are suitable and would benefit Riley have gotten more limited as he’s gotten older.  However, over the past two years Riley has participated in the Work Experience program.  This has been very beneficial and has provided him with hands-on work experience in our community at two different businesses, one elementary school library and the once a week delivery of a local newspaper.  He rides public transit to and from work/home and last year started to ride the bus by himself (that’s an entire blog post in itself).  We still meet him at the bus stop at our end as we live on a fairly busy street and street safety is an on-going concern.  Truthfully, G & I are having trouble pulling back from this one.    

So next year Riley will continue with the Work Experience program and prepare to transition into the “real world”.  R seems to be taking it all in stride.  G & me…ummmm…not so much.

*Deep breaths* One day at a time…D    

   

First Times...Steps Towards Independence

Riley is 17 years old and in grade 11. Scary thought I know. One of R's main IEP (Individual Education Plan/Program) goals has been to work towards his independence.  In less than 2 years he will be considered an adult. Yikes! Soooo…what comes next??? 

In an effort to push Riley to “be all he can be” (incidentally, he has risen to the occasion) sometimes things fall through the cracks. It usually isn’t until something out of the ordinary happens before we realize there’s an issue.

For the third time in a couple of months, Riley went to the wrong class at school. This is very unlike R as he has always used a visual schedule so knows exactly what is going to happen and when. Now we are always "tweaking" R’s supports (this time his visual schedule) in order to try and stay one step ahead of him and keep things challenging. Most times it is successful without any repercussions. Unfortunately…this was not one of them.

I got a call from the school this past Tuesday that they couldn’t find Riley was not where he was supposed to be. After going to all his classes, they did a class by class search, checked all the washrooms, and made an announcement over the PA system. Still no Riley. Now I’m 99.9% sure that R would never leave the school. Riley has never been a bolter. Yet as the time passed, I wasn’t quite as comfortable with that .1% …what if??? By the time the second call came that R was still unaccounted for, G was in the car retracing the route to school. Forty-five minutes after the first call, they located Riley in the gym. He was sitting in the bleachers amongst a class being taught first aid. One of the reasons he hadn’t been noticed when they were looking for him was that he had changed into his PE strip (like he normally would for PE) and they had been looking for him in his street clothes.

You may be thinking to yourselves…what kind of parents are you to sit there and not do anything? Did you not consider calling the police if he was missing for so long? How could the school not know where he was? All valid questions especially if your child is younger.  However, Riley is 17 years old and one of the hardest things we’ve had to learn is to try and let go of control (ever so slowly mind you) that “we” need. All the first times are definitely the hardest. The first time he walked into high school on his own, the first time he walked to class on his own, the first time he walked out of high school on his own, the first time he rode the bus by himself…I get stressed just thinking about it. Yet each and every time (with a lot of coaching and practice) Riley has been able to do it and seeing how proud he is of himself is all the incentive and motivation we need to keep at it.

I have to admit after a “first time” event, there is generally a martini and wine involved on my part. After 17 years…it’s no wonder I have grey hair and G doesn't have any.

Trying to hang in there…D