Aging Out...

Image: freedigitalphotos.net   

What is Riley going to do now?

Have you thought about what Riley will do in the future?

Do you think Riley will ever be able to live on his own?

All valid questions.

Questions that I have thought about all too often yet have pushed to the back of my mind because it caused me to hyperventilate in years past. OK. I still hyperventilate.

Only now…we are there.  Or here.  Right now. *grabs brown paper bag*

Riley finished high school and turned 19 at the end of June. After 14+ years of ups and downs; forwards and backwards; challenges and successes in Riley World; we were all done. So we decided to take the summer off. A hiatus…sabbatical…if you will.

Then September came.

It has now been 3 weeks since what would have been the start of school for Riley. We are in the process of getting services/funding organized but this all takes time. In the meantime I decided we would work on his diet, some life skills at home, continue some type of work experience 2-3 times/week as well as community outings 4-5 times/week. It has been a change in our daily routine. A significant change. He is home full time and for safety reasons he can not be left at home alone. 

Something Different.  Not unusual in Riley World. We have been doing something different for over 14 years. Yet something WAS very different and I could not seem to put my finger on it.

Image Credit:  freedigitalphotos.net 

I am old. There. I said it.

OK so not old old. Just old enough that I am well…just tired. Not tired as in not enough sleep kind of tired like when he was little OR tired/exhausted from the emotional and physical roller coaster during the early years of Riley World. Just tired of doing stuff.

Last week I was sitting in a Transition Committee meeting with area school district personnel, representatives from community societies/government agencies and parent advocates. After the meeting was over I sat talking with a few of them. We decided that Riley and I are taking a “Gap Year” of sorts. Heck. Lots of kids took a gap year after high school. Right??

Yes. Yes…I liked it! I felt as if a load had been lifted. I felt refreshed. Ahhhhh...  

So for the next year I will be blogging about Our Adventures with Riley: The “Gap Year”!  Should be interesting to say the least.   :)

A Balancing Act...

As frustrating it can be for both Riley and me…we are trying to "stay the course". The setback with his mouth this past weekend has meant that I needed to regroup and try to hold steady without pushing R over the edge.

What does this mean??  Well…“Something Different” would be a definite NO-NO! Yet we still want to keep our options open.

One meal a day with a reintroduced food??  Sure. That would work.

One meal a day all together. Even better. The fact that he is finished before I sit down…minor detail.  

So yesterday at lunch I decided to give Carrot soup Bisque another go. I even bought fresh crackers and added grapes for a well-balanced meal. Work with me. 

Since I was not eating but wanted to keep R company I sat at the table with his iPad. Remember no eye contact works best.

I could feel his eyes on me. Willing me to look at him. Waiting to pounce. I forced my eyes to stay focussed on the iPad.

The grapes were first. They were the most desirable of the 3. When he was almost finished I faltered. Eye contact.

“I'm not feeling well to eat.” (Pointing at crackers)

Drats. Trying to think on the fly…”Can I try a cracker??”  Hey. I never said I was good at thinking on the fly.

“Sure. That’s sounds good to me.”  Phew. Crisis averted. Crackers consumed.

Next came “I'm not feeling well to eat soup.”

Do NOT engage. Focus all attention on the iPad. Avoid eye contact at all costs. 

Several seconds pass before Riley finally succumbs and takes his first spoonful of soup. The sound of teeth scraping soup off the spoon is almost too much for me to bear. Almost.

As frustrating as it was, I stayed focused on the iPad. Candy Crush...Stupidest. Game. EVV.VER!!!

“Oh Gretel I'm so hungry.”  Scrape, scrape, scrape.

“I don't feel well at all to eat.”  Scrape, scrape, scrape. Slight gag and possibly a few tears in his eyes.

At this point R had eaten about half the bowl and to be honest…“I” was done.

“How about 10 more and you are finished.”

“Ohhh-kay. That sounds good to me.”


Has it really only been 21 days!!!  *sigh*