A to Z Challenge

Just what is the “Blogging from A to Z April Challenge”??  Basically it’s “a challenge to all bloggers for the month of April. Can you post every day except Sundays during the month? And to up the bar, can you blog thematically from A to Z?” You can click on these red words to find out more if you are really curious. 

I first thought about attempting this back in 2013, a couple of years after I started blogging. But…I never did.

And then…my blogging slowly started to wane until over the past 3 years, it has pretty much been non-existent.

And then came COVID-19 with social distancing, self-isolation and lots of time at home. What better time to try and motivate myself to try and blog again.

Who am I kidding. I am just a really good procrastinator and would do just about anything else than clean.

I’m a little behind in starting but better late than never, right??  Oh, and I’m not “officially” doing this. Who needs THAT extra pressure in times like these?

So “A”.  April is the month of Autism Awareness. Surely, I would write something about Autism.

Nope. Not gonna.

I’m going to go with “A” is for Aging. Cause that’s what’s happening to me.

Aging is not for the weak. 
Aging is humbling yet freeing. 
Aging is also not to be taken for granted.

This post is longer than usual. I’m getting bored. So instead, I will leave you with this little clip that my sister sent me the other day. If you find this as hilarious as I did, welcome to the club. Otherwise…GET OFF MY LAWN!

Click here if you can't see the video.

The "Circle of Riley World"

In June 2013, Riley finished high school. For the 5+ years prior to that we were cowering in the corner in the fetal position looking ahead to the next phase in Riley World. Adulthood.

In some ways it feels like we had come full circle. We were back to the beginning. Paperwork to be filled out. New procedures to be learned. Schedules to be planned.

I guess on the upside for us…no diapers and fewer meltdowns sooo…I guess there’s that.

But the nagging questions were still there.  “What is Riley going to do now that he’s finished school?”  “Will he get a job?”  “Have you thought about where he will live?”  Hyperventilating commencing in 3…2…1…

Then there’s the “There’s NOTHING out there!”  “There are NO PROGRAMS!!”  “THERE ARE NO SERVICES!!!”  *Passes out*

So what do you…as a parent of a young adult who can not ride the bus on his own or even stay home alone for that matter, do? How do you create a meaningful life where your adult-child is involved in their community and feels accepted?

You do what you have done for the past 16 years (if you count 2 years of preschool and the “extra” year of high school). You take a gap year and regroup. And then…you put on your grandma panties, take a deep breath and look for something that will work for your “kid”.

It’s not easy…but as parents…we will find a way. Am I right???  Please tell me I'm right otherwise I'm going to crack.  

Next post:  What are the options??

Back to Blogging....

I had been struggling. What to blog. So I just didn’t.

My last 2 posts were memes. That was almost 8 months ago.

I was at a cross roads. After Riley finished high school over a year ago, I decided “we” needed to take a gap year. Am I regretting that? Absolutely not! I think both Riley and I needed this past year to regroup, re-energize and get ready to take on the next phase.

Adulthood.

Sounds scary doesn’t it.

When Riley was in school there was a plan. A direction of sorts. Even though there was some uncertainty…there was a plan. A schedule if you will. From September through June, Riley would be in school. Developing, learning, and socializing.

For 14 years (Riley repeated Kindergarten) we had a plan. Even though I could only look ahead a year at a time…there was a plan. For 14 years.

And then… 

We had no plan. 

***

I found the above half-written post in my drafts folder along with a link to this OMG-THIS-IS-US!!! article “Loosening the Ties that Bind: Growing Up with Autism” by Liane Kupferberg Carter.

Her last paragraph sums it up perfectly “But we must. And we will figure out what comes next. We will do this just as we have done everything else these past twenty years. Pulling together as a family.”

Thanks Liane! I think I am ready again to hit the ground running  jogging slowly  okay…perhaps just walking.

I think I am ready to take on this adulthood thing with some renewed energy.

I am ready.  

Aging Out...

Image: freedigitalphotos.net   

What is Riley going to do now?

Have you thought about what Riley will do in the future?

Do you think Riley will ever be able to live on his own?

All valid questions.

Questions that I have thought about all too often yet have pushed to the back of my mind because it caused me to hyperventilate in years past. OK. I still hyperventilate.

Only now…we are there.  Or here.  Right now. *grabs brown paper bag*

Riley finished high school and turned 19 at the end of June. After 14+ years of ups and downs; forwards and backwards; challenges and successes in Riley World; we were all done. So we decided to take the summer off. A hiatus…sabbatical…if you will.

Then September came.

It has now been 3 weeks since what would have been the start of school for Riley. We are in the process of getting services/funding organized but this all takes time. In the meantime I decided we would work on his diet, some life skills at home, continue some type of work experience 2-3 times/week as well as community outings 4-5 times/week. It has been a change in our daily routine. A significant change. He is home full time and for safety reasons he can not be left at home alone. 

Something Different.  Not unusual in Riley World. We have been doing something different for over 14 years. Yet something WAS very different and I could not seem to put my finger on it.

Image Credit:  freedigitalphotos.net 

I am old. There. I said it.

OK so not old old. Just old enough that I am well…just tired. Not tired as in not enough sleep kind of tired like when he was little OR tired/exhausted from the emotional and physical roller coaster during the early years of Riley World. Just tired of doing stuff.

Last week I was sitting in a Transition Committee meeting with area school district personnel, representatives from community societies/government agencies and parent advocates. After the meeting was over I sat talking with a few of them. We decided that Riley and I are taking a “Gap Year” of sorts. Heck. Lots of kids took a gap year after high school. Right??

Yes. Yes…I liked it! I felt as if a load had been lifted. I felt refreshed. Ahhhhh...  

So for the next year I will be blogging about Our Adventures with Riley: The “Gap Year”!  Should be interesting to say the least.   :)

No More School...NOW What?!?!?

For the past couple of weeks I have been seeing articles/posts about going back to school and pictures of kids as they head off for that exciting first day.

Riley (8); J2 (9)

When the boys were young I too would have them posing with their backpacks before heading off for their first day of school. As years went by the boys were not quite as eager to have their picture taken. Surely it had nothing to do with the fact that I was out on the front lawn in my PJ’s, slippers with an extreme case of bed head. Right??

Yesterday for the first time in 16 years there would be no eager, happy, excited, stressed, anxious, glum, annoyed faces to snap. After the excitement passed…it felt strange. I felt a little anxious. Reality hit.

Riley World was finished with school. Forever. Eeep!

What does that mean for us???   

Well in June, after 14 years navigating the school system, Riley was done. I was done. We were all done! We all needed a break. A sabbatical if you will. So we decided to take the summer off to get rejuvenated, regroup and refocus.

For the first time in 14 years we are in uncharted (for us) waters and I am not going to sugarcoat anything this time…it is scary my friends. Very, VERY scary.

We had to start the process of applying for any services/funds Riley may be eligible for again since at 19, R is considered an adult and services/funding is accessed through different government/community agencies. Not quite as daunting as the first time for sure yet time consuming and, at times, frustrating.  

Yes I have felt guilty that we are not as prepared as we should be. Yes I will probably feel guilty many more times in the future. Such is life. For now…

We have some things in place for Riley.

We are working on others.

We are ready to hit the ground running. 

I hope you will stay tuned for the next phase of Riley World. I am sure there will be much to share.  :D

A Trip to Home Depot

It has been a busy 10 days in Riley World. 14 years of school and we are almost done. Yes…when I think about it too much I freak out. So instead, when not Candy Crushing, I have opted to stay offline for the most part. It is a coping mechanism that works for me.

A friend sent this in an email and it gave me a good chuckle so I decided what better time for another #FridayFunny post. It serves two purposes. One...I am posting something and two...I get to make fun of spread the humour amongst the male population because I am an equal opportunity blogger. You’re welcome. 

Hope this starts your weekend off with a smile too!

A MAN'S AGE, AS DETERMINED BY A TRIP TO HOME DEPOT 

You are in the middle of a few projects at your home: putting in a new fence, painting the basement walls, putting in a new garden. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt and paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit -- shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.

Right in the middle of these projects you realize you need to run to Home Depot for supplies.

Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20s:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because, you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout line.

And yes, you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30s:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change your shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favourite cologne to cover the smell.

The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40s:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute is almost empty, so don't waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing.

The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird about thinking she's spicy.

In your 50s:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a hat. Wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog crap in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat.

The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember -- the hat you have on is from Bubba's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms '

In your 60s:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat any more. Hose the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50s. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants.

The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses on, so you're not sure.

In your 70s:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready too. Don't even notice the dog crap on your shoes.

The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize your balls are hanging out the hole in your crotch.

In your 80s:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you need to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead. You went to school with the old lady greeter.

You wander around trying to remember what you are looking for. Then you fart out loud and think someone called your name.

In your 90s & beyond:
What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?

TGIF!!!

PS  In case you missed it...my first #FridayFunny post was a diary of a women’s week at the gym with a personal trainer.

A Woman's Week at the Gym...

Since this past Wednesday I have been working at a job out of the house. I know! For the next 2 weeks. Full time. Blogging, Twitter and FB time has and will be significantly reduced. You are disappointed I know but these things happen. You will be OK. 

During this brief work stint I will do my best to keep you informed on any earth-shaking news in Riley World or else just pass along humorous and trivial information. So as not to disappoint let's get started with the latter.   

Although I have never had the opportunity to have a session with a personal trainer I somehow think this is how it would turn out for me too. 

Dear Diary,

For my birthday this year, my husband purchased a week of personal training at the local health club.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

Image from Wikimedia Commons

MONDAY:

Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile.  Woo Hoo!!

Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines... I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!

TUESDAY:

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.

Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile.  His rewarding smile made it
all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!  It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY:

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it.  I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals.  Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators?  Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life.  He said some other crap too.

THURSDAY:

Butt hole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl.  I couldn't help being a half an hour late -- it took me that long to tie my shoes.

He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny witch to find me.

Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

FRIDAY:

I hate Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor.  If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.

Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps!  And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the darn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.  Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY:

Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY:

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy.

I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!

Hope you enjoyed my first #FridayFunny courtesy of our Fairy Godmother!   

Have a great weekend everyone!!!

Thanksgiving in March?!?!?

Image from MorgueFile

We have all heard of Christmas in July so why not Thanksgiving in March?!? A couple of things happened last week that just gave me the warm and fuzzies all over. As a warning...this post is very high in sugar.

G was away on a golf trip so I had been on vacation too doing the single parenting thing. No. This was not one of the things I was thankful for. Although *tapping chin*...never mind. Granted it is hardly single parenting when your sons are almost 19 and 20 years old and it is only for one week.

Now typically when your kids reach a certain age they become somewhat self-sufficient and able to fend for themselves. I am not talking anything major here just simple things like staying at home alone for a short time or making themselves something to eat. Surely by the time they are ready to leave high school these things will happen. Right???

Image from MorgueFile

Scrreeeeeeeecchhhh!!!!!!!  Not so fast.

In Riley World the word typical does not exist. When in doubt I substitute the word unique. For example Riley has unique behaviours; unique language skills; unique interests. If you are unsure what I am talking about you can click on any of those red words for further explanation.

Back to why I was all warm and fuzzy last week. Now I am sure you have all read about my Zumba experience this past month right?  *sigh*  Red words again people. Go ahead. I will wait. *tap, tap, tap...*

With J2 working, leaving Riley at home by himself was not an option. No problem. I was not that heartbroken to have to miss exercising. My girlfriends thought otherwise. Damn them.  :)  Now both their sons have gone to school with R since kindergarten. Being typical teens they were off working/playing sports so not around this particular evening. However one younger sibling (who we shall call Bee) was. Now R had never really met Bee yet Bee was willing to come “hang out” with R for the hour. Apparently Bee was a little nervous but only after his older brother (R’s age) Zed (cuz I am Canadian) was giving him “helpful hints” on how to interact with R. “Don’t ask him too many questions at once? You’ll confuse him. Only ask him one thing at a time.” Awesome right???  I am happy to report that everything went smoothly as in Bee only saw R once as he whizzed past him on his way to his room. Ha!

The second feel good came when I was trying to book a haircut for myself. I was able to get an appointment for Saturday before Gary got home. Again the Riley factor came into play. My hairdresser (who happens to be a good friend and parent of a peer of R’s from elementary school) replied with this email:  “Please know that Riley is always welcome! I have the TV in the Salon and I can turn it on. Just let me know how I can make it enjoyable for him.” 

SEE…do I have awesome friends or what!!!

Unfortunately not all things were warm and fuzzy. Sometimes reality bites you in the butt when you least expect it. I heard some news that took the wind out of my sails for a bit. I had some tears, a few awkward moments over dinner Saturday night and immersed myself in Candy Crush Saga for the rest of the weekend. Curses Flannery for turning me on to this game!!!

Although I had one less hour to regroup (thanks to DST) I am even more aware and thankful for good friends/family, I will still buy green bananas and yes I am even thankful for my Magnificent Middle (aka muffin top and back fat).  :)

Here is one of my favourite quotes by T.H. Thompson and John Watson:

“Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.”

Have yourself a great week!

"The Dash"

Today I went to a Celebration of Life for one of my dear friend’s dad who passed away at the end of January. I have been to a few too many of these Celebrations over the past couple of years. Some have been for relatives, some for parents of friends, and tragically one for a child of a friend.

I guess this is something that happens as we get older. Perhaps I should consider this more of a positive than negative thing. It means I have had the good fortune of living a fun, happy and fairly healthy life so far.

At today’s Celebration a poem "The Dash" written by Linda Ellis was read. As I sat there listening, the words really struck a chord with me. I hope that you will take the 2-3 minutes to link over and read this poem.

Just so you know…I am not done yet and plan on making the most of "MY Dash".  How about you?

That's G...BEHIND me!  Baaahaaahaaa!

What If???

Two little words in Riley World that have so much more attached to them. 

Stress. 

Guilt. 

Anxiety. 

Self-doubt.

Two little words I must have said a hundred gazillion times back in the early years. (OK. Slight exaggeration probably only a couple million times.)   

What if we had started therapy earlier?

What if we had done more therapy?

What if we had tried ‘X’ therapy?

What if…

Two little words that would send me running full speed ahead into my cave. 

Two little words that were always there in the back of my mind. 


Yet why if it caused me so much stress, guilt, anxiety and self-doubt did I keep asking myself “what if”???

I wanted Riley to be successful.

I wanted Riley to be happy.

I wanted Riley to be the best that he could be.

So what was the difference in Riley World?  What parent doesn't want that for their child. Right?  For us the difference was that our choices could make the difference for Riley.

The difference between being able to be communicate or not communicate.

The difference between being able to attend school or not attend school.

The difference between being able to manage behaviours or risk self-injurious behaviours.

Some of these differences (along with others) continue to be a work in progress.

There was such a huge unknown and it was too overwhelming for me to look 5-10 years down the road into Riley World so instead I could not help but look back and wonder "what if".

Now it has been almost 14 years since Riley’s diagnosis. Knowing that nothing will change what we did or did not do, do I still ask myself “what if?”  You bet I do!  Only now it is not a hundred times a day. 

So what is the difference now? I am almost 14 years older. Eeep. When did THAT happen?!? What we were working towards with Riley is here. Sure I still occasionally ask myself “what if”. Only now the two little words I find myself asking more often are “what will” as in what will happen when we are no longer here.

Scary? 

You better believe it. (This is where I would usually run off to my cave.) Only now I have to force myself to stay put and deal with my stress, guilt, anxiety and self-doubt.

I am not nearly as prepared as others.

I am not nearly as prepared as I should be.

I am doing the best that I can and hopefully that will be enough going forward because Riley is done looking back. 

A Trial Separation

You may have noticed that it has been somewhat quiet here in Riley World since the holiday break. Before I go any further it is not what you think. I did, however, make a conscious decision to take a much needed social media break over the holidays. I will admit I did not go cold turkey.

Image Source

What started as a blog turned into Twitter, then Facebook and most recently Pinterest. I should know better. I have a tendency to get obsessed and one of the reasons why I have not gone the route of an iPhone…yet. 

Drats…I should have taken a picture of that!

I wonder what’s happening with e-friend-A…did she go with the red or blue one?

No I don’t have time to talk right now I need to make a status update/tweet/blog/pin something…it’s been over an hour!

These feelings reminded me of how I felt when I started out in Riley World…overwhelmed! Not to make light of the many, MANY differences between Riley World and Social Media World; yet the terminology, acronyms, political correctness…same game only the names have been changed.

I am sure this has something to do with aging. I used to be a pretty good multi-tasker if I might say so myself. I could type a letter with carbon copies, file, and fax with the best of them.

Yet at this stage in my life my skill set has pretty much reached its max. Not to worry I have not given up and will continue to plug away at my own pace and try not to let my FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) get the better of me.

Trust me; I make no resolutions as that, more than likely, will be a guarantee of failure for me. Instead I hope you will come back on Monday for this week’s Listicles topic as chosen by my pal Stasha “10 Things I have NO Intention of Changing in 2013”. It is sure to be a good one. 

Have a great weekend!  

A Glass Half Empty...

My glass has been half empty this week. Every so often things seem to wear me down. The change in weather…could be; added stress of R’s EEG…maybe; lack of exercise…absolutely NOT! Whatever it was…sometimes things are just blah. I am sure I am not the only one out there that has these moments. Right???

I mean the weather has definitely changed. The rain has started and with DST it seems like it is dark most of our waking hours.

Stressed out more than usual? Well if wearing my mouth guard all day is a sign…OK…slight exaggeration but my teeth feel like they are going to crack from clenching so hard. Since I did spend an awful lot of time in the dentist’s chair earlier this year it would suck  be a total waste of money be a darn shame if anything happened so instead I chose to refill my half empty glass.    

G is of the opinion I should reduce my alcohol intake. Yea…like THAT’s gonna happen! I mean I would…only I have worked really, REALLY hard to get to where I am and I am NOT a quitter!  :)

Sure I could probably use more  some exercise to have more energy and of course for fitness. One of the things that I blame for my recent physical demise is this thing called menopause. It sucks! The other is the fact that I detest exercise more than my muffin top and back fat. *sigh*

So until my big girl panties get too small (at which point I will move on to “Granny undies”…you do remember how I feel about exercise right?) I will restock the fridge regroup over the weekend and repair my rose coloured glasses with some duct tape cuz that’s how we roll in Riley World. 

Be sure to come back on Monday and prepare yourself to be enlightened with this week's Monday Listicles.

10 Amazing Memories from a Not-so-Distant Past...

“Ducky” who blogs over at Batcrap Crazy picked this week’s Monday Listicles topic and what perfect timing! Having just returned from a girls getaway to sunny Palm Springs, California last Sunday, I decided to start writing my list as soon as I got back. Too bad that meant missing out on Bridget’s topic "10 Firsts". Hey…the ol’ memory just ain’t what it used to be so had to get to it while things were still fresh in my mind. 

Of course a weekend away with girlfriends I have known forever (1 sister; 2 from elementary school and 1 from high school) would mean nothing but Amazing memories…good and uhhh some not-as-good. 

1.      Even though our first flight was delayed on the way down…with no spouses or spawns in the picture we were footloose and fancy-free.

2.      Even though we would have missed our connecting flight…thankfully it was delayed too! Unfortunately by
1-1/2 hours. Until 12 midnight. On a weeknight. Well past our bedtime. Yes we are getting old.

3.      Even though none of us are real beer drinkers…we could not resist buying the 24 pack of baby Coronitas. Ole! 

4.      Even though we still love to go shopping it is no longer about who buys the most…it is now all about who buys the most for the least amount of money. Call us thrifty but whoever wins is one step closer to auditioning for TLC’s Extreme Cheapskates.

5.      Even though my girlfriend likes her pool warmer rather than cooler…95°F was even too warm (ya think?!?) for her.

6.      Even though it was a girls only weekend…rushing back from dinner to watch Grey’s Anatomy at 10pm is considered an Amazing memory. Personally I could not stand the excitement and went to bed just after we got home. It had nothing to do with the Happy Hour portions of alcohol they served. Welllll……maybe. Just a little. OK. It was the wine.

7.      Even though my girlfriend just about poked her eye out on our first night out and could not open it for the rest of the weekend…she still had the use of both hands. I was not so lucky. Vegetable peelers can be nasty and my right thumb was in a bandaid dressing for the rest of the weekend AND more! Just sayin’...

8.      Even though we like to think we are as energetic as we were in our younger years…now at 11pm we are ready for bed rather than ready to go out. 

9.      Even though we have all celebrated our golden birthday…we were keen to have a go at a game of Bum Darts. NO not out in public. Paleez we still have some dignity. We thought Loonies would be a better idea as opposed to quarters for fear that we would never ever see those quarters again. HA! Luckily we never had to put those to the test. After 3 rousing games of pool we were too tired and decided to race each other to bed instead.

10.   Even though our lives have gone in different directions...when we get together, nothing has changed and THAT is pretty AMAZING!!!

Be sure to head on over to Stasha's and check out what everybody else came up with.  Enjoy your week!

ITS* Getting Old...

*It’s The Shits

Welcome to my new series “ITS Getting Old”. Please pardon the pun. You will know what I am talking about soon enough. 

Since my first year of blogging focussed mainly on our adventures with autism I have decided to branch out a bit and enlighten you with another aspect of “our” life…aging (not so gracefully). After all everything that happens in our house is a family affair and as I have gotten more “mature” I am all about sharing my knowledge and experiences for those who have not yet gotten to my stage in life. You’re welcome. 

Now I have heard some not so welcome words coming from doctors in the past but the two words I dreaded hearing the most...stool sample. No wait! Give me a minute to explain. Trust me...you're over the worst.  

The test is called the Hema-Screen™ II Test Card and I had to do this this past week. Just so you know G was mortified that I would even think to blog about this. Oh well. 

I was lucky and got to do the 3 day test. It comes with handy-dandy "applicator sticks" which look similar to coffee stir sticks. I will never, ever use a stir stick at Starbuck's again. Sorry about that.

A total of 17 instructions on 2 pages. Now I am not going to elaborate on ALL the instructions…just a few that had me shaking my head and thinking that the prep for a colonoscopy was a breeze in comparison.

Instruction number 5:  "Use a clean, dry, disposable container to collect the stool. Collect sample before it contacts the toilet bowl water. Let stool fall into collection container."

Really.  First, what exactly is a “disposable container” one would use to collect said stool?  Second, where would one find such a container? I don’t know about you but I’m certainly not about to go and ask a 16 year old clerk at the local drugstore. I can hear it now “Customer Service to front desk for assistance. Customer requires location of disposable stool containers.” Uh thanks. I think I will figure something out on my own.

Instruction number 8:  "Place the test card in the foil envelope and store at room temperature until the next day."

Glad they pointed out “room temperature” just in case, you know, I considered putting the test card IN the refrigerator next to MY FOOD!

And my favourite…

Instruction on the Envelope:  Do not mail specimens in this envelope.

The key word here being “mail”. Seriously?  Who would…  Really?  That is just plain gross.

Next the ummmm gathering of the required samples. On second thought...this may be a good place to stop. If you are interested in further steps, feel free to leave a comment below and I will publish the instructions in a follow-up post...or not?!? 

ITS* getting old my friends!  DI

*It’s The Shits