"Pulling His Own Weight"

For the past year and a half, as part of our program, Riley and his friend “Bob” had been doing volunteer/work experience twice a week. One morning was spent volunteering at a Senior’s Centre where one of the jobs was helping out in the kitchen (unloading the dishwasher and putting the dishes away). It took me a while before I finally had a *lightbulb moment”…THIS could be something Riley could do at home.

As you can imagine, he was thrilled when I mentioned it. 

One of the ways Riley copes is by “scripting”. A LOT! In the past, it hadn’t always been clear what he was talking about. This dialogue is from Cheaper by the Dozen. In the movie they are talking about chores/rules of the household so the "script" is quite appropriate.

For the first time, I only had him unload the bottom rack (plates and utensils). Watching him barely clear the countertop edge as he took the dishes out made me question my decision to have him do this. But then I decided this may be my chance for a new set of dishes. 

To our surprise, on the second attempt, Riley unloaded both racks by himself. We showered him with praise. From that moment, I knew he would start “pulling his own weight” around here.  He was most proud of himself. He was keen. SO keen that the following night he unloaded the dirty dishes while we were sleeping.

I had not anticipated he would take to this so whole-heartedly. So I quickly printed out a sign to put on the dishwasher. 

It worked. Well…at least until the other night. 

You see, it's been 8 months since he started "pulling his own weight" around here. Riley knows the routine. Pretty much every other night we run the dishwasher. He talks about pulling his own weight all…day…long. Sometimes, G forgets to switch the sign but Riley knows if he wants to live here…he has to pull his own weight and unloads the dishes regardless of what the sign shows. 

But then…there are times when G forgets (because I would never) to start the dishwasher.

The other morning I saw this and was most confused.

After some investigation, I discovered G (again) had indeed forgot to run the dishwasher. I figured out that Riley had emptied the dishwasher but had apparently noticed the dishes were NOT clean. He had attempted to wash the dishes BY HAND and dry them before putting them away. I was shocked and so impressed he would problem solve on his own.

So, if you are here soon and notice your glass/plate/utensils are ummmm…not exactly clean. It is G’s fault.

  

Sandwich Maker 101

Now I can’t remember exactly when Riley started eating grilled cheese sandwiches. It was at some point during our Operation IFO era. We started that back in September 2013. Five. Yes 5!  Looooong. Years. Ago! 

The only food to successfully come out of that hair-pulling…poke-my-eye-out-with-a-fork…ummm "trying" year was a grilled cheese sandwich.

Today was our second attempt at using the sandwich maker. I decided “Riley” needed a break after Monday so he wouldn’t get toooo stressed out thinking about it.

I have to say I was very surprised when I called him and he didn’t protest too much when he saw the setup. Some things do improve with age.

I wasn’t going to record his buttering technique again but how else will you be able to track his progress?!?  In case you did not know or do not notice in this clip, Riley has quite the aversion to getting his hands messy. 

If you can't see the video...click here to watch.

I have an aversion to blobs of butter so will admit to smoothing out the butter before we proceeded. Not sure why this clip is blurry…perhaps I got some of that butter on the lens. 

If you can't see the video...click here to watch.

Next…checking the status.  On Monday we set a timer but that didn’t work out all that well (it got a little overcooked) so decided we would just “sneak a peak” every so often. That is if he could get the lid open.  So many things that one takes for granted.

If you can't see the video...click here to watch.

And…VOILA!!!

If you can't see the video...click here to watch.

Oh, and just because he eats a food does not necessarily mean he enjoys the food……

If you can't see the video...click here to watch.

Summer "Home" School...Day 1

So today was the first day of Riley World’s summer “home” school. 

As you can imagine he was thrilled.  As was I.

Not sure why I do this to myself.  Oh yea…don’t want to lose my Awesome Autism Mom certification. 

I got everything set up on the kitchen island.  I even cleared it all off so it looks like I have somewhat of a cleanish kitchen. Just don’t look in the background when you watch the video.  Yes.  There is video.  But only of the first part because I couldn’t manage the camera and “modelling” at the same time. I have limitations. 

For the last 12 weeks or so, Riley has been making grilled cheese sandwiches at his program once, sometimes twice, a week.  Transferring or generalizing skills (being able to do something he has learned in one place and being able to do it in a different place) doesn’t happen automatically in Riley World. Because of course it doesn’t. So, we have to try and replicate the skill at home.  Only sometimes with different equipment.  Hmmmmm…perhaps the sandwich maker wasn’t such a great idea?!?!? 

Anyways…I was told about Riley’s “buttering” skills when he first started.  Basically, he would glob some butter in the middle of the piece of bread and dab at it. So they had been working on his “spreading” skills. Be sure to take note. This is after a number of weeks.  I am hopeful we will get to the edges by the end of the summer. 

So without further ado…I give you “Grilled Cheese Sandwich Maker 101…Take 1.” 

If you don't see the video...click here to watch.

Oh and as soon as I turned off the camera the “You STUPID lady! That grilled cheese is STUPID!  This is so STUPID!  Heeeey…that’s not nice to say stupid.” dialogue started up.

So. Much. Fun. 

Let's Be Honest...Transitioning to Adulthood is Scary

A year ago I wrote a post Phase 2: Adulthood…“In Progress” and was excited to start sharing with you some of the plans we had brewing for Riley World: Adulthood.

And then…

I got all overwhelmed and did the old rocking in the corner, breathing into a paper bag thing.

That was a year ago.

Now before I lose any more of you, at least watch this video clip of R's fitness class (part of his new program). Guaranteed to make you smile! 

or Click here to watch the video.

Feel better??  Good.  

*Pats seat*  Come sit by me. I’ll even share my wine with you.

If you have a teen or are fast approaching the teen years, you are probably getting asked those “I-don’t-want-to-think-about-it” questions while plugging your ears and humming incoherently to yourself.

What happens when your son/daughter finishes high school and may not be ready or want to go on to a post-secondary institute? 

What happens if your son/daughter may not be ready for a paying job?

Am I right???  

*Grabs wine bottle*  Here…let me fill your glass up again.

I remember hearing “There is NOTHING out there!”

I remember thinking surely these people were exaggerating. There had to be something out there. Right?  RIGHT??

Well…there are programs out there. Only…the sad truth is there are not enough programs out there. And…what is available may or may not be appropriate, suitable or a good fit for your son/daughter.

So then what?!??!  

*Opens new bottle*  More wine???

Quick recap for you…

Four years ago this September Riley World started school for the last time.

Three years ago we took a much needed “Gap” year.  

Two years ago at a Transition Committee meeting I attended, another parent found a program on the Island that sounded like a good fit for Riley. The program is a family governance model called InclusionWorks! It is an individualized, age appro­pri­ate, community-based pro­gram started by a group of parents for their young adults with developmental disabilities.

In September 2015, after over a year of planning, organizing and an enormous liquor bill…we (a group of parents) formed an InclusionWorks! “grouping or pod” in our community.  

We all had the same goals in mind for our young adults…

Being a part of their community

Getting to know people in their community

Becoming involved in their community.

We started our 2nd semester in January. It’s been stressful and exhausting to say the least. But to see our young adults getting out there in their community in a meaningful way……keeps us motivated and the liquor stores in business.  

Coming soon...programming and the partnerships we have formed. 

Closure for the Sock Saga...

On the heels of Riley destroying throwing away his black striped socks for reasons I will never know…here is an update that, if you follow us on Facebook, you will already know about. Otherwise ummm…why aren’t you following us Facebook?!?!?

At R's request he went to buy some socks at Walmart with his cousin Sara after work experience. He came home with 2 packs of socks. Socks that he has never, EVER had before. He picked them out, paid for them and seemed quite excited about it all.

Conversation he had later with G over Mr. Noodles:

G: So I hear you bought some new socks today.
R: Yeah I did!
G: Where did you buy them?
R: At Walmart with my cousin Sara.
G: How many did you buy?
R: 2 packs.
G: How much did they cost?
R: *Without hesitation and very confidently*   2 dollars! 

Ummmmm....not exactly. One of the downsides of always using a debit card?!?!?

Keeping my fingers crossed that he will wear them. 

UPDATE:  He has been wearing the NEW socks happily every day since. Then again...there are no other socks in his dresser drawer.  :D

Looking for a Job...Ready OR .....Not?!?!?

After 15+ years in Riley World, we have come to grips with the reality that Riley will always need some type of support.

One of the questions we are often asked is whether or not we think R will ever be able to get a job. A paying job. I would like to think at some point…yes. What that would look like is a whole other thing.

Yesterday I needed some help putting 2200 tickets together in batches of 50. In my mind…this was a job for Riley-man!! He is a whiz when it comes to numbers and putting things in order. The only hurdle would be to convince him. 

The conversation went like this:

Me:       Riley…I need your help today.

R:         *giving me the side eye*

Me:       I need you to help me put some tickets in order.

R:         I’ll be whining!

Me:       Well…you can either go out on an adventure with dad or stay home and help me.

R:         *thinking*

Me:       ………

R:         Stay home and help you.

Before you think “oh how sweet…he wants to stay and help you”…no. No. That’s not it at all. Riley will do/say just about anything in order to stay home. This was followed with:

R:         I’LL BE WHINING!!

Me:       If you stay home…no whining otherwise you have to go out.

R:         *speaking quietly*  Just stay home.

A little later at R’s request…the McD’s card was thrown in as an incentive. ‘Doing a good job and no whining’ were the terms of G picking up a medium fries in a small brown bag on his way home.

I set up the tickets, demonstrated what needed to be done and after a few adjustments Riley was on his way. He managed to work for 45 minutes putting together 25 packets of 50 tickets. The only challenge “I” had was R scripting almost the entire time. 45 looooong minutes. Here. Watch and see:

In this next clip you will see where R dropped a couple of tickets and checked the numbers before placing them back on the pile (55 second mark) and how he stopped on his own when he hit 400. Yes I was impressed. :D

After 45 minutes I had had enough I let Riley off the hook. You watched and heard the video right???  

Less than 2 months shy of turning 21, Riley is not ready for all the responsibilities and independence required in getting and keeping a paid job. For now…that’s okay. We will keep working towards this goal through volunteering and work experience. 

Phase 2: Adulthood....."In Progress"

We hear stories about autism when they are “out-of-the-ordinary”. The likes of Dr. Temple Grandin, Ron Suskind “Reaching my autistic son through Disney” or autistic artist Stephen Wiltshire who is able to draw cityscapes following short helicopter rides over cities. But…

What if your child is somewhere in the “middle” of the spectrum?

What if your child may need some type of support for the rest of their life?

What if your child is not “out-of-the-ordinary”?

OR

What if your child will NOT be going on to a post secondary school?
What if your child is NOT ready for paid employment?

OR

What if your child is eligible for funding but there are no monies available?

What if your child is eligible for services but there are no services available?

What then???

What happens in the next 5-10 years when the wave of 1 in 68 (in the US) diagnosed ASD kids are finishing high school and entering adulthood?  Scary isn’t it.

If you are a parent of a younger child; if you are anything like I was…you are probably running off screaming incoherently in the opposite direction. If you are still reading…WOW!! Please leave a comment as to what type of medication you are on so I can get some too  ;) OR if it helps…you can read all about my angst when Riley finished school FOREVER, why we decided to take a “Gap” year and what turning 19 looked like in Riley World.

With our “Gap” year behind us, we are ready to move ahead with this adulthood thing. I am excited to start sharing with you some of our plans for "Riley World: Adulthood" in the coming weeks/months. As my friend Liane Kupferberg Carter wrote in her article “Loosening the Ties that Bind: Growing Up with Autism”:

“But we must. And we will figure out what comes next. We will do this just as we have done everything else these past twenty years. Pulling together as a family.”

~Liane Kupferberg Carter

Yes we will. And as a community we need to start planning for the 1 in 68 diagnosed ASD kids who are coming behind us. We need to start thinking outside the box.

Image Credit

I hope you'll come back and follow the next phase of Riley World. 

Introducing...Operation IBW!!!

There was obviously something in the air this past month as I noticed that I was in good company during my blogging ummm hiatus. And that’s…o-kay.

So what better way to kick off my return with some video footage? Yes we are still working on OperationIFO  but heading into spring brings...are you ready...the introduction of Operation IBW (aka I’ll Be Whining). The possibilities with this one are endless I tell ya.  ;)

Now I am sure you have heard the old saying “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure”?  Well my friend Lori had one of those branch clippers on a stick that she bought on a whim and used only a couple of times. She gave it to G when she was moving. During the last snow G was in heaven. The branches on the trees around our yard were weighed down with snow so he was able to clip away to his heart’s content without the use of a ladder.  

It was a sunny day today so G decided to go out and clean up the tree carnage. “I” decided R should help him. Not sure who was least impressed…G or R?!?  So at 10:45 I shoved R out the door  R headed outside.

G started R off with a corn broom then switched him over to a push broom. Did you know a corn broom does not push well?? Conversely a push broom does not sweep well. Just an observation.

Betcha didn’t know that the operation of a push broom required a demonstration. Welcome to Riley World!  :D

Now even though I was still in my PJ’s, I decided audio was required so you could enjoy the full experience. My pleasure. Two more observations before this last clip:

• Did you know the words raking and sweeping are interchangeable???
• When sweeping does not work…kicking will do.

Riley held the bag helped G bag the branches and was outside for 1 hour!!!

Bet you can't wait for the next installment of Operation IBW right???  ;)

We are COOKIN'......#OperationIFO

Did you think I had given up??? You would be close. Although the introduction to new food groups in Operation IFO has yet to happen we have been eating a few meals together again…well at least for the 3 minutes Riley is at the table.

Riley keeps me on my toes which means I have to change things up. Often. I usually offer Riley at least one preferred food choice per day. After all…I don’t want his system to go into shock.  :) 

About a week ago I decided it was time to reintroduce cooking lunch. R used to cook his lunch two times a week at school. It never transferred home. I know. My bad. I thought the easiest way would be to start Riley off with hotdogs. OK…really just the wieners. Having to eat the bun as well as cooking would have been too much to handle in one meal. For both of us. It actually went better than I thought. A few vocal outbursts; some intermittent hand-slapping; otherwise…pretty uneventful.

Today I decided it was time for another cooking session. Much to my surprise Riley opted for perogies. Sorta.

Me:       For dinner tonight I’ll make you oyako-donburi*.

R:         YES!  (happy as a clam)

Me:       So for lunch YOU can make hotdogs or YOU can make perogies.

R:         Thinking…  Perogies. I’M HUNGRY! (NOT)

Me:       You want to make perogies?  (very surprised but tried not to sound it)

R:         NO!!  You can do it!

Me:       I'M going to make YOU dinner. YOU can make lunch.

R:         I’LL BE WHINING!  TOOOO-GETHER!!!

Me:       Sure. We can make it together.

*Riley World version.

Lucky for you I got some of it on video. In the beginning I was only going for audio then thought…WTH! Get it all on tape. I have nothing to hide. Except perhaps that I was still in my PJ’s.

As I was watching, some things really stuck out for me. Some are observations (mostly about me), some are reminders (mostly for me) and some are eye-openers (again FOR me). The up/downside of video-teaching. Let me explain.

First the observations:

·         My voice!  I am just getting over a cold. I usually sound worse.  :D

·         Riley is wearing the same t-shirt and shorts. Those are his home clothes. I do wash them regularly. 

·         My monotone voice. I never used to sound that way. I used to be very enthusiastic and animated. Ok so not nearly as much as my sister *wink* yet waaaay more energetic than now. Why?? Well in Riley World: The Early Years, we found that Riley was extremely sensitive to the inflections of a person’s voice. A calm and even sounding demeanour worked best. At times very difficult when I was tired and stressed out to the max.

·         I appear to be ignoring much some of Riley’s comments/questions. Ummm…yea. Busted. Haha! Actually I am trying to prevent an outburst and redirect his need to perseverate about his displeasure.

·         I say “Nice job!” and “Good job!”…a LOT!! Positive reinforcement is key in Riley World.  :)

Second some reminders:

·         I should have found out how he cooked perogies at school. How did they drain the perogies? Did they use a strainer, colander, or scoop them out of the boiling water? Easier to transfer learned skills than starting from scratch.

·         You will notice G stepping in to help Riley drain the pot. I do the same thing. I see something R may be struggling with/to do and immediately want to help him. We need to let out the apron strings as much as we can. 

Last…eye-opener:

·         There is this thing called echolalia and it is HUGE in Riley World. I am going to defer to my now IRL bloggy friend Bec’s post “Understanding Echolalia” for an explanation. I hope you pop over and read it. It explains a LOT!

When I say Riley repeats things…I mean he really, REALLY repeats things. Sometimes when a person (that would be moi) hears or sees the same thing over and over and over AND OVER again, said person begins to ummm...errrr...well...tune/blank out. For me it has been a survival thing. Listening/watching the same 7 second sequence of the same show for the 50 bajillionth time over 14+ years……I am only human. 

In the video, when Riley is sitting at the table and talking about Hansel & Gretel…that is an example of one of those times. Riley repeats/scripts when he is stressed. He repeats/scripts as a stim. He repeats/scripts as a conversation starter. Different situations, at different times yet all for different reasons. Yup. Echolalia in Riley World…a hard one to figure out and one that I am still learning about.

Oh…I just about forgot. Here is the video:

Click here or on the picture to watch the video.

Are you working on anything challenging in your World?  How's it going???

Aging Out...

Image: freedigitalphotos.net   

What is Riley going to do now?

Have you thought about what Riley will do in the future?

Do you think Riley will ever be able to live on his own?

All valid questions.

Questions that I have thought about all too often yet have pushed to the back of my mind because it caused me to hyperventilate in years past. OK. I still hyperventilate.

Only now…we are there.  Or here.  Right now. *grabs brown paper bag*

Riley finished high school and turned 19 at the end of June. After 14+ years of ups and downs; forwards and backwards; challenges and successes in Riley World; we were all done. So we decided to take the summer off. A hiatus…sabbatical…if you will.

Then September came.

It has now been 3 weeks since what would have been the start of school for Riley. We are in the process of getting services/funding organized but this all takes time. In the meantime I decided we would work on his diet, some life skills at home, continue some type of work experience 2-3 times/week as well as community outings 4-5 times/week. It has been a change in our daily routine. A significant change. He is home full time and for safety reasons he can not be left at home alone. 

Something Different.  Not unusual in Riley World. We have been doing something different for over 14 years. Yet something WAS very different and I could not seem to put my finger on it.

Image Credit:  freedigitalphotos.net 

I am old. There. I said it.

OK so not old old. Just old enough that I am well…just tired. Not tired as in not enough sleep kind of tired like when he was little OR tired/exhausted from the emotional and physical roller coaster during the early years of Riley World. Just tired of doing stuff.

Last week I was sitting in a Transition Committee meeting with area school district personnel, representatives from community societies/government agencies and parent advocates. After the meeting was over I sat talking with a few of them. We decided that Riley and I are taking a “Gap Year” of sorts. Heck. Lots of kids took a gap year after high school. Right??

Yes. Yes…I liked it! I felt as if a load had been lifted. I felt refreshed. Ahhhhh...  

So for the next year I will be blogging about Our Adventures with Riley: The “Gap Year”!  Should be interesting to say the least.   :)

Let the Summer Begin...

Tomorrow is July 1^st.  It is the first day of summer in Riley World which means it is time to get the summer “fun” going again. 

As you can imagine Riley is so not thrilled.

While we have continued with some of Riley’s summer “fun” from last year over the winter, we have not been as ummm consistent as we should have been.

In my defence when you have a child/teen who has significant communication challenges (like Riley) and they communicate something with clear intent whether verbally or using a communication device…THIS. IS. HUGE!!! 

Of course in order to reinforce the positive communication your child/teen has shown, you reward them by honouring their request. A given. Right??  Absolutely.

Theeennnn…after the first dozen or so times the waters start to get murky. Riley, like most, is one smart cookie. Once he started to see the power of “I communicate a want/desire/need. You respond by giving me what I want.” life in Riley World began to mellow. Yes at 19 we still have the occasional meltdown (sorry) but they are not happening hourly/daily any more (there IS light at the end of the tunnel).

Riley still fools surprises me at times with his uncanny ability to seemingly operate under the radar and then out-of-the-blue come out with this:

R:    You can do some laundry?

Me:  Uhhh okay. I can do the laundry?!?!  (Very confused)

R:    Oh…okay.  (Relieved voice)

Later I figured out the reason he was asking was that he was out of underwear. Hard to believe if you read last summer’s post I know.   

After the first 3 or 4 times I added a little something to the conversation:

R:    You can do some laundry? 

Me:  Sure.  I’ll do laundry when you’re at school. 

R:    You can do some laundry when I’m at school.  (Happy voice this time. Uh-oh…)

See what I did there???  After 15 years in Riley World I still made a rookie mistake. While trying to give Riley more language I also gave him ammunition to use against me. Gah!

The conversation then moved to this:

R:    You can do some laundry when I’m...followed by at school/work/on an outing? 

Sneaky monkey. Yes I fell for it a couple of times. Not to worry I now come back with:

Me:  Sure. I’ll do laundry when you’re fill in the blank and you can help me fold it when you get home.  Bazinga!  

How has your summer been going so far?  I am hoping to catch up blogging about all of Riley's end of high school activities this coming week. You're excited I know.  :D

Riley World Enters Adulthood...

What a crazy couple of weeks! If you follow me on FB...wait...whaaa...you don't?!?!?   Oh.   Ummm...this is a little awkward. Weeelllll...you can either click on the FB icon over on the right or any of these red words and you will be kept in the loop on the latest news in Riley World.  :)

Today will be Riley's last day of high school FOR. EVER. aaand he will be turning 19! Gah!

I know I have been promising to blog about all his grad festivities. To be honest it has been more overwhelming than I expected so I have been operating on a day-by-day basis and staying offline for the most part. Once I get my head wrapped around everything I am sure I will be able to blog about it or ummm...not. Eeep.

But for today...it is a special birthday in Riley World so that is what we are celebrating. If you manage to stay tuned in for the entire ~3-1/2 minutes you will get to see some of those soon-to-be blogged about moments.

How was THAT for a teaser???

Click here or on the photo to see a slideshow/video of the first 19 Chapters in Riley World **

Happy 19th Birthday Riley-man! We are all so proud of you!

** I apologize for missing TH and KP...I could not "locate" pics of you and R.  :(

Summer School Report Card

It is September 1^st…the official end to Riley’s “Summer Fun”! At this point school is looking mighty good to R. Little does he know that all the fun stuff we did at home over the summer is going to continue for-ev-ah. 

So how did we make out??? Well the first thing on our list was taking out the garbage. This was a family affair sans J2 as apparently he is allergic to chores of any kind. Considering our elaborate storage system, proximity to wildlife (did I mention we have had more than the occasional bear) and R’s strong aversion to getting his hands dirty or wet, I am going to give all of us a final grade of A+!  Call me easy but we went from demonstration mode => direct supervision => overseeing => operating independently with only what I would consider your typical teenage grumbling. I am calling this one a total success! GO Riley!!!

Next on the list was laundry. The plan was to master the general operations of the washer and dryer, sorting by colour followed by clothing specific optional drying. I know what you’re thinking…I aimed a liiiiiittle bit high on this one and that’s OK. We did run across a few minor glitches in the beginning stages. For example liquid detergent that requires pouring…not an easy task for R. So instead we opted for powder detergent which could be scooped and tossed into the washer with relative ease and the likelihood of getting his hands wet were minimized. You can watch this short video clip of his progress which occurred during his mid-term evaluation. We are in a holding pattern for sorting and optional drying as I realized these tasks may require an instructional video and/or laminated step-by-step posters. 

Also additional equipment labelled and with visuals attached would be helpful. I am going to give Riley an Excellent rating for his efforts as he has mastered the transportation and folding of his laundry thus far. Yes I realize it is only his socks and underwear. Did your mother never warn you about wearing clean underwear in case of an accident??? Just sayin’.

The final item on our summer agenda was washing rice. During the demonstration session I realized we were going to get an Incomplete on this task. With Riley’s tactile defensiveness it would have been so stressful for me him and hardly a required life skill so we withdrew from this class much to R’s relief. 


All in all a pretty successful summer. We both came away relatively unscathed and Riley is on his way on the domestic front. On Wednesday Riley will begin his final year of high school. Yup yup yup...this is it! 

How did you make out with your summer plans?

Why NOW???

Remember all the hype over Y2K?  It involved years of preparation in order to avoid the possible end of the online world. Life as we knew it was possibly going to come to a screeching halt.

Let’s rewind to 1999 in Riley World. We would have just received R's autism diagnosis.

“What type of program are you doing?”  Me:  Ummmmm…what’s a program??? 

“Are you going to do ABA?”  Me:  Isn’t that the therapy that you hear about people losing their homes? 

“How many hours of therapy are you doing every day?”  Me:  Huhhhh…Riley’s 5 years old.  He can barely watch a half hour of Barney.  How is he going to sit still for “hours” of therapy???

OMG!!!  Are you kidding me???  I remember being so totally overwhelmed and feeling like I missed the boat because he was already 5 and “they” kept talking about the importance of “early intervention” and thinking maybe we were too late and…and…and… AUGH!!! 

For years I had planned no further than a year or two (at most) ahead.  Anxiety  The thought of the future The Unknown and all the “What will Riley be doing?” or “Where will Riley live?” types of questions were too overwhelming for me to think about.  Stress   When R was little sometimes it took all my energy just to get through the day.  Exhaustion

Whether it was sleeping issues  Sleep Deprivation, eating issues Worry, behavioural issues Frustration… it all came down to me being in the right mindset  Preparation  to deal with "the stuff” in a calm  Patience and productive way  Strategies   without having a nervous breakdown (in my case) or major Meltdown (in R’s case) before we even got started.

That was more than 10 years ago yet I can still get overwhelmed and have those ‘What if……?’ feelings today. Only these days it is because Riley will turn 19 in just under a year. Adulthood is staring me right in the face! When did THAT happen?!?

So in preparation for life beyond Riley World, I needed to wrap my head around the fact that this summer had to be THE summer to introduce Riley to some important life skills. I was ready. I was psyched. I was up for the challenge. Riley was going to be in for some “Summer Fun” whether he was ready or not. Tee hee. 

Yes I know we should have started earlier. Here’s the thing…even now at 19, J2 does not do his own laundry or cook meals or take out the garbage on a regular basis. I know…shame on G!!  *wink*  The difference and there is a difference…when the time comes for J2 to have to do these things on his own, he will be able to “figure it out”. Sure there will probably be some burnt meals or shrunken clothes but no big deal. He will survive. Riley…uhhhh not so much. 

We are three weeks into July and have completed 6 loads of laundry, numerous trips taking out the garbage and had a demonstration of washing rice. Thank you.  :)  Here is a little snippet of how R has progressed since his first load of laundry. Still muttering away but a lot less cussing.

Loading the laundry is a breeze. 

Transferring to the Dryer...not quite as "happy".

At this rate Riley will be ready to move out before J2!  LOL!

Summer "Fun"... Laundry

WE ARE ON A ROLL PEOPLE!!!  A little cranky?  Ummm…yup.  A little grumpy?  Oh that would most definitely be a yes!  Yet here we are at just the second week of summer and we have tackled laundry!  Thank you.

Now I will admit that I am somewhat “particular” about doing laundry so would actually prefer to do it myself. I kid you not. But we are on a mission here. For Riley’s first attempt I wanted to start with the basics so decided to go with nothing but socks and underwear.  Wash.  Dry.  Fold.  DONE!  Sorting will be up next followed by the merits of damp drying specific articles of clothing later this summer.

Only about 2/3 of R's underwear

We started by gathering R’s socks and underwear. ALL 27 pairs of underwear and umpteen pairs of socks. I am NOT kidding. Yes I counted.
9 pairs of black/dark blue; 9 pairs of grey; 9 pairs of white; Fruit of the Loom; Calvin Klein; and Jockey. Why so many???  Well it is that darn autism thing again. I am never sure what he will wear and then must introduce new ones gradually because of course I can never find the exact. same. ones. ever. again! The downside is of course I am never exactly sure which ones he wears and which ones he just throws in the laundry because he does not want them in his drawer?!? The result…27 pairs of underwear, give or take a few, at any given time.

We gather the rest of the family’s personal items and head downstairs. R carried the laundry basket all the while muttering about it being “summer time”. Remember I told him we would start chores in the “summer”. I am quite certain he will never look forward to summer again.

I demonstrate how to start the washer, add detergent and then have him put in the laundry. Just like that we are done. Even R was surprised at how easy that was. Step 1...done. Up we go.

In case you wondered, that is NOT me and Riley in the picture. That would be the winner of this year's Mother of the Year Award. What-EH-VER! 

The buzzer sounds so I call R. Time to switch things from the washer to the dryer. I open the lid and demonstrate this next step. I tell R it is his turn. He looks in the washer, gingerly puts his hand in and says with disgust
“It’s yucky!” For Riley his tactile sensitivities are on high alert. To give you some idea of what that is for R…imagine someone telling you to put your hand into a barrel with some unknown substance and that you must empty the barrel using only your bare hands. You have no idea what it is going to feel like, what is in there, or whether or not it might hurt you.

I talk him through it explaining the clothes are just a bit wet yadda yadda yadda. Oh how I wish I had recorded R’s dialogue during this step. Think grumpy, agitated, and a lot little on the loud side…“It’s yucky.  Watch me.  Come out you stupid underwear.  This is stupid.  Stupid underwear.  Watch me now.  It’s summer time.  I don’t like it.  I’m grumpy.  Get in there you stupid underwear.” Any of the previous statements are repeated over and over until he is finished loading the dryer. Step 2 of 3...finished at last! 

Thankfully the final step of folding was done with minimal grumbling. The only hitch being some of his underwear were "backwards" (aka inside out) which R managed to problem solve on his own. Yay!  Load 1...complete!

Bonus: Riley happily took his laundry upstairs and put it away. 

Double Bonus:  Figured out he does not like his Calvin's any more. Found 8 pairs in his laundry basket untouched the next morning.


How is your summer going so far???