Menopausal mom to 2 young adult sons (one with ASD, ADHD, tic/seizure disorders and the other with attitude).

Monday, 30 January 2012

Choices...aren't always optional

Everybody wants to be a part of some sort of club. There are social clubs, athletic clubs, academic clubs…you get the idea. I belong to two clubs. One is a semi-private club and the other is exclusive. Sounds fancy-shmancy doesn’t it?

 The semi-private club is an autism club. In order to become a member you must have an immediate family member with autism. This would be Riley.

The exclusive club is a cancer club.  It has much stricter requirements in that you need to have actually had cancer in order to be eligible. Ummm...that would be me. I am a breast cancer survivor and this past summer I hit my 5 year anniversary!

There are some similarities between the clubs. The first being early diagnosis is a good thing; second, both are life changing; and third, I’m pretty sure I’m a stronger person because of them.  Now had you asked me 30 years ago would I want to be a member of either of these clubs, the answer would’ve been “No thanks!” At 20, I pictured myself living a life of luxury sipping margaritas (have since acquired a taste for martinis) on some patio in a villa on Lake Como.   I mean who, given a choice, would honestly choose either club??

For whatever reason, sometimes you don’t have a choice.  This is probably a good thing as who in their right mind would choose the harder path?  Certainly NOT me!

Do I wish Riley didn’t have autism?  Absolutely.  As a parent, who wants their child to struggle in life?  Do I try to change Riley now?  Welllll…since I am a woman and we women like to try and change our men… sometimes yes (I just can’t help myself), mostly no.  Riley IS Riley and as stressful and frustrating as it can be at times, he’s a keeper!!! 

Given a choice...would you choose to have done anything differently?

Think about it…D


  1. While I wish you didn't have to be part of either club I am glad it has made you a stronger person.

    1. One thing for sure that I would NOT have done differently...having BOTH of my boys! Never a dull moment with either of them. =D