Monday, 27 May 2013

Happy 100th!!!

Hard to believe Stasha’s third baby will be turning 100 today! Yup…Monday Listicles will post its 100th Listicles link-up today. Do you have any idea how many list items that is? Do you??? Well let me know because I have only done about 39 and I was never very good at history or math. Thanks.

I made the mistake of reading Stasha’s list before writing up my own. Pretty hard to top her 10 Reasons Listicles Rock so rather than duplicate all her answers I am going to follow her suggestion and go freestyle.

So for this monumental Listicles week I am linking back in time to 10 Golden Oldies:

1.     The sentimental favourite -  My 10 SuperpowersIt was my first Listicles.
2.      A look back on what it took to get Riley through school.
3.      I was grooving in my chair as I searched YouTube for 10 of my favourite songs
4.      I was pretty sure the producers of Hoarders would have been knocking down my door after reading this post.
5.      So you think you know me? Can you pick out which one is true???
6.      I have never been a fan of New Year’s resolutions so I was all over this topic because some things are not meant to be changed.
7.      It’s always fun to daydream. Have you ever thought who you would invite to your ultimate dinner party?
8.      What I Won’t Miss and What I Will Miss:  A Tribute to Nora Ephron
9.      Have you ever been kept awake at night wondering why some things are the way they are? Me too. Here are just a few of my deep thoughts.
10.   Thankful for…family, friends and Monday Listicles! 

Congratulations to Stasha and have a great week!!!

Sunday, 26 May 2013

It’s Official…I’m a Dragon Buster!!!

I am no longer a newbie. Wooo-hooo! Yesterday I paddled in my first regatta; am now officially a Dragon Buster; and earned the coveted sticker for my paddle.  :)  

For those who do not know me in real life, exercise has never been high on my list of ummm “likes”. I have never been a fan of the great outdoors (due to my bug phobia) and will willingly admit if put in a situation I am a fair-weather sports player.

So you can imagine the reaction I received when announcing I was going to become a dragon boat paddler. Everything from encouragement and the thumbs up to shock and stunned silence. Ha!

I will even admit…I was sceptical…and afraid…very, very afraid. What if I couldn’t do it? Have you ever seen a dragon boat race???  Well…me neither. BUT…what I had heard about it was quite daunting. It was a team sport where timing and working as a unit were required until the boat crossed the finish line. Eeep!  What was I thinking!?!?

After the first couple of practices I was hooked! I find a real sense of calm being out on the water. Even in the pouring rain. Trust me no one is more shocked about this than I am.

I know what has made my experience so awesome has been my teammates. They are an amazing group of women. We are all breast cancer survivors and more importantly we all look good in pink…thank goodness for THAT! 

In case you were wondering what Dragon Boating is…here is a clip (~3 minutes) from the Breast Cancer Challenge race yesterday. There were 2 heats; 9 boats in total. We were in the second heat with 5 boats racing. We finished 2nd overall!!!  Our boat is the one with the black paddles. 

I don't know about you but I was exhausted watching that!  *wink*

Friday, 17 May 2013

A Woman's Week at the Gym...

Since this past Wednesday I have been working at a job out of the house. I know! For the next 2 weeks. Full time. Blogging, Twitter and FB time has and will be significantly reduced. You are disappointed I know but these things happen. You will be OK. 

During this brief work stint I will do my best to keep you informed on any earth-shaking news in Riley World or else just pass along humorous and trivial information. So as not to disappoint let's get started with the latter.   

Although I have never had the opportunity to have a session with a personal trainer I somehow think this is how it would turn out for me too. 

Dear Diary,

For my birthday this year, my husband purchased a week of personal training at the local health club.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

Jsayers 184
Image from Wikimedia Commons


Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile.  Woo Hoo!!

Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines... I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!


I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.

Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile.  His rewarding smile made it
all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!  It's a whole new life for me.


The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it.  I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals.  Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators?  Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life.  He said some other crap too.


Butt hole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl.  I couldn't help being a half an hour late -- it took me that long to tie my shoes.

He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny witch to find me.

Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.


I hate Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor.  If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.

Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps!  And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the darn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.  Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?


Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.


I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy.

I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!

Hope you enjoyed my first #FridayFunny courtesy of our Fairy Godmother!   

Have a great weekend everyone!!!

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

How I Spent my "MAD" Weekend...

Ahhhhhhhhh...the view off our stateroom balcony...

Back to reality...the view beside my laptop when I got home...*sigh*

Sunday, 12 May 2013

Thursday, 9 May 2013

Is it "MAD" this weekend???

Remember last year I decided to rename the upcoming "holiday" on Sunday to "MAD" - Mom Appreciation Day?  No???  Oh.  Well I did.  You can refresh your memory here.

When the boys were babies/toddlers I felt it was G's "duty" to shower me with gifts. After all...I gave birth to two more heirs; provided him with at least twenty more years of parenting; and oh...never mind.

Thank goodness for preschool. Preschool teachers are Saints!! They have the patience of Job twice over. There was no way I could ever, EVER do crafts at home with the boys let alone glue macaroni and holly onto a paper plate then spray paint it gold. A 1996 and 1997 Christmas highlight. And let us not forget the juice can pencil holder. Seriously though, those were THE best presents EVER!!!

Elementary school brought poems, cards and artwork.

J2 drew this. I had longish hair back then.
And apparently a very looong neck.  :)

Then came high school and the tribute to me stopped. Abruptly. WTH! They really need to build that into the curriculum. 

When J2 was in grade 11, he surprised me with this:

I know. Awwwww. If you need to go get a kleenex I will wait. *whistling*  As I was saying that was in grade 11. Nothing since. Thus the beginning of my Mom Appreciation Day campaign. 

So why am I writing about this???  Well this year my sister and I decided to grab one of those last minute deals and will be spending the weekend on a relocation cruise. No spawn. No spouses. Just us moms. Cause we deserve it damn it!  

Bon voyage and Happy MAD!!!  

Thursday, 2 May 2013

Pinterest...Keeping it Real

Are you a Pinterest fanatic? Do you have umpteen boards on Pinterest?  OR…are you like me…have a Pinterest account because everybody else does but have no idea what you are doing over “there”. Yesch…yet another time-sucking social media temptation.

Last week Bec over at Snagglebox (she is the one I mentioned in a previous post as being really, REALLY smart because well…she just IS) wrote yet another awesome, witty post “Real Parent Pinterest”. If you have not read it you need to. Off you go. Here is the link again. Just be sure to come back.

Hello again.

Then Sharon from The Tumultuous Truth (another awesome blogger from Down Under) suggested the online autism bloggy world build on Bec’s idea and so “Pinterest Keeping it Real Week” was born. This topic was yelling whispering sweet nothings in my ear so of course I had to write a post.

My last Monday Listicles was 10 Things I could do in 30 minutes or less. One of them was plan, prep and cook a gourmet meal…in Riley World. Since Whacamole Mom wanted more details…more details she shall have.

Meals in Riley World are boring  bland  ummm…uninspiring to say the least. Take for instance one of the few “meat” products that R will eat. You have surely heard of Tube Steaks???  

Imagine James Bond doing the voice-over for this Pin:
“All Beef.  Boiled…not grilled.”

So...anybody interested in coming over for a gourmet meal???   :D

Wednesday, 1 May 2013