Menopausal mom to 2 young adult sons (one with ASD, ADHD, tic/seizure disorders and the other with attitude).

Wednesday, 20 January 2016

How We Handle "Undesirable" Activities in Riley World

When it comes to Riley World…it is all about “incentives”. Motivators so to speak.  Some may refer to these as “bribes” but that…to me…sounds so negative. ;)  So let’s just go with incentives shall we??

Whenever an undesirable activity is in the foreseeable future, my mind immediately starts to play out all possible scenarios in which things could go sideways and then…how to try to minimize the fallout.    

One of the activities of Riley’s new program is grocery shopping and then cooking lunch.

I received an email about what was planned for the following day:

And for cooking we are making hot dogs and french fries, so everyone can either pack a lunch and take what they made home, or eat it for lunch! 

This was good. This could work. Hot dogs are one of the few foods R will eat. Sort of. Okay. Wieners. He will eat wieners. Close enough. I responded with: dogs and fries! I think I will only send a drink with R and prep him for eating hot dogs for lunch.  He will probably not eat any of the fries but...go for it!!  :D  Peer pressure can sometimes work.  Probably not but you never know.  :)  Also...R usually only eats the wieners (boiled) BUT we have, in the past, worked on eating an actual hot dog (with bun...plain only...bun and wiener) so also feel free to just put one on his plate. 

You could always give him a choice:  One hotdog with bun or 2 wieners.  Totally up to you though. 

May the force be with you.  Good luck!

After prepping Riley…I sent this email in the morning:

The incentive is in place.  :)   He's prepped to eat 2 hot dogs (with bun) and to try at least one French fry. Maybe two.  We can only hope.  I mentioned the bun but I will leave that up to you.  He will probably say 2 hot dogs (the incentive) but if you think he's really struggling with the bun...after he finishes one w/ can suggest he just eat the 2nd wiener.  He will be most pleased with that suggestion.  :D  Be prepared for piles of ripped bun on his plate.  Hahaha!  I told him G would check to see if he did "a good job" in order to go get his incentive on the way home.    

So what is R’s “incentive”???  5 cases of pop. Yup. You read that right. 5 cases (12 cans/case) of pop. Orange Crush, Fanta Orange, C-Plus, Sprite and 7-Up. The number of cases will vary based on how undesirable the activity may be.

I know what you’re thinking. Why bother with all this…“Won’t he just eat when he’s hu…”  STOP! Just…stop right there!! No. No he will not. It doesn’t work that way in Riley World. We started working on trying to expand his diet (aka Operation IFO) a couple of years ago. Although we did manage to add a few more things to his menu…it is still pretty limited. *sigh*

As soon as he got home he immediately unloaded ALL 5 cases (this is not our kitchen fridge). The line-up on the top shelf???  I think he is imitating pop "displays" at the eateries in food courts. Or not. Your guess is as good as mine here. He has one shelf and the rest...

well...they are relegated to wherever he can find space beside the fridge.  

As you can is his flavour of choice.  Praying we won't need an incentive in the near future. 


  1. I'm thinking that fridge, as well as the surrounding area, could use a lot more wine. :)

  2. 5 cases of pop?! <-- LOL! But he did it? He ate his lunch?? The *different* hotdogs??! Truly impressed. The guy wanted his pop. ;)

    1. :D Oh indeed he did. He was down to his last few cans so the "incentive" was strong. Ha!

  3. I remember Operation IFO. How long does it take him to go through this particular "incentive"? I do like that word better than "bribe". Much more refined!

    1. That's me alright..."refined". Ha!

      Well...J2 helps consume the incentive and once all the orange is gone...I have some leverage. ;)

  4. I am very fond of using "incentives" - I mean really; isn't that kind of how the "real" world does work anyway? My hubby refers to it as "currency" and says every kid has their own. You just have to figure it out and then it's amazing what they suddenly will do without complaining. Although I agree that you should have a bottle of wine (or two) as your own incentives in that fridge. LOL

    1. "Currency"....another good name. I like it. :D And's just figuring out what that might be that's the tricky part.